Love to Hate

I know am misssing it.but as always am trying to avoid it..and failing again on my knees.I can never concider this as another let go.and i want to write these lines with heart.I still could't understand whats happening with me.is it a search for destiny or somethingthat makes us insecure in life or is it live the life as it is.? still confused at thisside of life.may b i will get a better answer next time.how do i controle this thoughts of mine which goes outer space.how do i controle my heartwhich looks for stars at night and if its not finding moon whom should i dial?even my mobileseems to be blank.i think i am returning from something or taking another direction in different gear.i hate this feeling i simply hate it with all means.i would rather throw everything out.i really want to scream out ..scream as loud as i can ..let the stars hear it..let it blast into peaces..let everything blast..as i hate this one thing in my life..i knwo am missing it.:)