I wanted to write..I’ve been thinking and longing to do this from many months. I am not dead am very much alive and this thought made me write at last. after having a night drive in nice road and a dinner @ ramnagara when i comeback home i felt good. we had a can beer, cooled down the excitement for a bit . i saw some movies by the time i realized it was morning 7.Opened the door went out and saw the morning light with a satisfaction. Standing there on my balcony thoughts came pouring into mind.
I never got time to think on my own after coming to bangalore, this is a fast paced city and i was enjoying my time here with some long lost friends. Good night outs couple of beer some nice music, late evening movies, things were moving fast.. feel much younger now. when you have lot of time on your own you feel very old. and thoughts will make you crawl and feel like everything is bullshit. but now...now its better i don’t have the vicinity of open space ,clear sky and silence instead every day morning i hear autos roaring and all motor vehicles sounds...but i feel good.
Is this what i wanted..i don’t know but the moments that i have i really feel good about it. Today was complete off day..no phone calls no internet i laid down on my couch like a lazy kid. in background the song 'Ik tara' was going on..its a really nice song..hmm..i am laughing at myself now.
Things that really matter is to enjoy your silence..even when you know that silence is much deeper. I go back and forth in time but what i am left with is just some feel good factors and some bitter truths. but never mind ...life has its own way of handling things for you..i know when the next summer rain comes my fears will be washed away. Cool breeze was coming through the window now..i went and closed it and came back and sat on my bed ..Now i know things that really matter is to enjoy your silence..even when you know that silence is the only way..i hope to end this night somehow ..
"Kaise main chaloon
Dekh na sakoon
Anjaane raaste"
"Ik atara" song was still playing on my laptop...
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